Below is what my wonderful friend has written. It is so beautifully written that i have to share it with others..It made me and my sis cried buckets.. and perhaps it will make you too..
you're a wonderful girl. you're beautiful. no matter how i see it.
05/04/2007 thursday - 02/08/2007 thursday
3 months and 28 days.
i had the time of my life.
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this is a story about a boy and a girl.
it begun when they were kids.
life was immature, childish and worry-free for how long it lasted.
crazy crushes were all over this primary school class that they were in.
he took a liking for this girl.
had secretly admired her for many months.
he knew her. they were friends. ordinary friends.
she stayed in that block just behind his.
so one night, after group tuition at the community centre.
he decided he might want to do something.
he had brought along 10cent coins.
went to this telephone booth just outside the community centre.
hesitated for an hour or more.
then he took up his courage.he phoned her.
told her his feelings for her.
he asked her. "will you be my girl?".
she couldnt answer him on the spot.
so he gave her 3 days to consider.
childish it seems.
she was confused.
and she wrote in her diary.
that single entry which had him all over it.
he didnt see it until recently when he chanced upon her diary entries accidentally.
"ngiam is a good guy. but he was supposed to be with valerie"
valerie was a good fren of hers in her small clique.
and she had like this guy wei sheng all along and much more.
things didnt work out in the end.
it didnt turn out like what he wanted.
heartbroken, he save what little pride he had left.
doing something stupid which in turn broke her heart too.
he was young. he was foolish.
he was only 12. so was she.
but they remain as friends.
and she would be his final crush in the final years he spend in the school.
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they went on to be friends for many years.
she studied in a school next to his.
and although their schools and homes were so close to each other.
they hardly met or chanced up each other coincedentally.
she was always early - very early for school.
he was always late - very late for school.
they were very different.yet.
slowly but surely this friendship of theirs grew closer.
since fate wasnt providing chances for them to meet up coincedentally.
he often ask her out for lunch, dinner or just to meet up and catch up.
he enjoyed her company very much.
they helped each other alot in studies, in giving each other comfort, motivation, and beliefs.
exams neared. he didnt like to study alone nor he really gave much thought on studying.
since he always made it through without difficulty.
but because he was still immature, while she was already half of a young lady.
and he had often ask her out to the library as study sessions.
vividly he recalls the images. of her.
sitting across him in the library table studying furiously while he was bored - so bored.
bored because she was intensely doing her work, not wanting to talk to him, not paying attention to him.
she was a hardworking girl as of always, she knew what she needed to do - study.
the boy.
out of desperation, he had NO CHOICE but to study too during these study sessions with her.
it helped him alot. he often asked her alot of questions - to clarify his curiousity.
he often asked her questions she herself dont understand.
she will give him the puzzled look which he love.
she was of great help to him in his studies. taught him alot on maths.
though many atimes he had purposely asked her to teach him even though he knew how to do and the answers to these questions.
he just wanted her to talk more to him. that's all.
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time passed.
school only got tougher.
this time round. he had gain maturity.
he finally realised hardwork was important in success too.
she had difficulty in econs so he often taught her on econs.
shared and explain many theories which most of the times she had difficulty understanding him.
he had always kept in contact with her.
and always asked her out.
for a walk at the beach, for meals etc.
they had helped each other through the bad times.
comforting and finding solutions for problems they had each encountered in their lives.
from work, to school, to family and relationships.
slowly, he didnt realised she was becoming important to him.
because she was one of those few persons he could speak his mind to.
everything under the sun, everything he was thinking and every problem he had could be shared to her without barrriers.
he was educated, taught and social conditioned to be brave and not show signs of weakness at all times.
hence he hardly show or tell others the weaker side of him except her.
somehow, he felt comfortable and at ease with her.
he would have normally put everything in him and let them devour him.
but she gave him a way to express his feelings and thoughts.
to show that weaker side of him which he would rather die than show anyone.
and there was this year. they were both 18. year 2006.
he cant remember the date.
but it was valetines day.
he had no date.
he wasn't bothered at all.
school ended early so he went home and decided to go out for a cycle around this tiny island he lives on.
then he thought of her.
he had this little gift he had prepared for her.
so he put this gift into his pouch and went to cycle.
many many many kilometres he cycled.
from the north-eastern of the tiny island to marine parade.
he smsed her if she was free to meet him for dinner.
she agreed.
he was there early.
she didnt arrived on time.
so he waited for quite awhile.
and then he decide to cycle back home
her cellphone was out of batteries.
she had training after school.
and her classes ended real late.
she couldnt reached him.
in the end she used her fren's cell and text him a message.
he was already halfway home.
he cycled ALL THE WAY back to meet her.
to had dinner with her.
then he walked her home.
from marine parade through east coast park to her home in bedok.
they took a long walk.
she shared her problems.
he offered her solutions.
then below the block when he was about to leave.
he took out the small gift from his pouch and said to her "happy valentine day"
that had make his day.
and so did it make her day too as she told him years later.
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school was finally over.
for how short it seems the past 15 years.
education was halted for many months.
he was enlisted to serve the nation.
while she enjoy the carefree break she deserved.
she works as a teacher and he loves her for that.
times were tough for him.
he had to adapt himself to a system that was FLAWED and totally different from what he know from his society.
once, he only obey orders from one person - himself.
now he was like a slave. his freedom taken. his life was halted.
but he endured. for he knows he will make him a better man.
he was matured enough.
feelings for her grew more and much more.
because he finally understood what he wanted.
it was all along in front of him and yet he was so blinded.
and took for granted of this girl.
then life got really tough for him.
and school was starting in several months.
he wanted to tell her again that he likes her.
that she was important to him.
just like what he did in those young days.
it was a thursday night.
he had suffered pain and anguish.
he came out of camp, took a cab and fetch her from her work.
they went to the beach, ate and slack on that beach.
then. he took up his courage one more time.
to ask her again. to express his feelings again.
they were staring at the sky and stars with the ocean breeze caressing their cheeks.
he took her hand and held it tight.
told her everything he wanted her to know.
and asked the question again "will you be my girlfriend"
he had thought long and hard about this decision he was about to make.
he was already prepared for failure.
and all he wanted was to tell her how much she was worth to him before she embark on a new chapter of her life.
he just wanted to say it all out.
he was prepared for her to reject him for so many so many reasons he had told her.
things like he could not offer her anything.
things like he will be hampering her future.
but he also gave her the word that he will take care of her to the best of his abilities.
for 25minutes. she was silent. thinking hard.
he felt bad. for confusing her.
he was prepared for rejection, so his heart could die and he can concentrate on other things.
then she said yes.
that moment. he felt like the luckiest guy on this earth.
he couldnt understand why she agreed.
but she did.he was delated. he was in shock.
that night, he walked her home.
he wanted to hold her hands and walk her home for the first time.
but he didn't. he was still in shock and he didnt had that courage.
so awkwardly, he sent her back home right to her block.
it was like a fairytale to him.
a wish come true.
something he would have expect that old guy upstairs to ruin it for him.
but it didn't.
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his very first kiss was when she came to her house.
they were preparing to watch a movie together.
she was using his computer at his desk and he was preparing to go take a shower.
and he left her, he hesistated.
turn himself around, reached her lips and kissed her.
he was a fool at such stuff.
he had asked her "can i kiss you" beforehand.
it was more of a peck than a kiss.
so then he was blushing, hoping she couldnt tell.
then he quickly turn himself around, pretended nothing had happen and went into the bathroom.
he was the happiest guy. truthfully he was.
so then.
they went on many dates.
his love for her grew stronger.
they understood each other much much more than what they have already learnt about each other through the years.
she confess her deepest problems to him and so did he.
for that period of time.
he enjoyed every single moment spent with her.
they went to do alot of things together.
constructing beautiful memories of them together as lovers and as a couple.
spending weekends after weekends together.
he was never tired of her company for he loves it.
he was willing to sacrifice everything just to meet her.
she was so important to him
spending weekends after weekends together.
he was never tired of her company for he loves it.
he was willing to sacrifice everything just to meet her.
she was so important to him
once, he was so low.
she made an album of photos of herself for him.
and he kept it in his locker all this while till now.
he still does.using these photos as a pillar for strength and support.
and on his birthday.
she was the sweetest thing ever.
his most well-spent birthday in his entire life.
then he realised how much he loves her.
he had learnt alot from this love of hers.
he learnt to love, to know beyond love.
both of them became matured.
and they were very matured before that.
they often question the possibilty of this love they shared.
they knew reality was harsh.
and she knew the worst outcome of it.
they were both mentally prepared becaue they had many talks over it.
tears were sheared by both over it.
the girl was loved by his folks.
they like this girl.
she was caring, understanding and great.
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days and months passed.
he did everything he could in his ability to fufil his role as her lover.
because to him.
that moment she said yes to him was that moment she became his responsibilty.
he took it serious. for it was his principle.
he wasn't one of those jerks or playboys who had girlfrens so they can enjoy their weekend after a hard week.
because his love for her was too deep.
he realised he wanted the best for her.
for he was lacking so much in his life.
he didnt want her to feel the same because of him.
problems, thoughts and many other issues in his life came up.
he was once again devouring himself with it.
he was torn apart by his logical and emotional brain.
he loved her alot.and he was selfish too.h
e couldnt make up his mind about the future of this relationship.
because he was scared he wont be able to do without her.
that he will lose her forever.
that he just dont want to lose her.
he was dying inside.
she knows.
by all his actions and behaviour.
she knows.
she often prompted him to tell her his problems.
but he didnt want to.
he didnt want to burden her more with what he was already doing.
he felt like a failure.
he felt hopeless.
because there was nothing he could do more for her.
and yet she was doing everything for him.
he felt guilty. he felt pain. he felt useless.
how he wished he could do more for her.
just a little more.
he was a vicim of circumstances. she knows.
because she's the most understanding girl he has ever met
then again on a thursday night.
she came over.
he was so troubled but he didnt want to show it.
but she knew.
then she was brave.
she made a decision.
a decision he didnt want to make because he was scared.
he was selfish.
intially he was so torn apart by it.
then he thought it over through the night.
then he complied with her.
they had reached a mutual agreement to let go.
to set both him and her free.
free of obligations and responsibilities.
it hit them both hard. very hard.
because they were loving each other deeply still.
but they know it was a good decision.
for the long term.
they were mature enough to think for their future and not the present.
she made a decision that would remove the man she loves so deeply from her life.
so did he felt that way for her too.
but reality hit them.
they were both still very young.
with much more in life to grasp.
so thenlet them both be free once again.for her, a new chapter - university shall start.
for him, he wants and needs to work towards his goals and objectives in life.
this fairytale may or may not have a more exciting future.
but for now, it has ended in bliss. they both agreed.
that this relationship was good, so good while it lasted.
and it ended on a high.
where they both still loved each other.
but due to circumstances and reality, they came to a harsh but important decision.
they will still be great friends like they have always been.
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he.
he didnt regret any moments loving her.
and any moments in this relationship.
for he learnt alot, experience alot and had great memories.
he felt so many emotions in this relationships, most of the time happy.
there were times he felt anguish, sad, angry etc etc.
but it was good, truthfully.
because it was her making him felt that way.
making him feel real.
making him feel things he never thought he would.
all those good and bad times he had with her were all cherished moments.
still, he felt indebted to her.
for her love was greater than his.
for he could not have done more for her.
and he sometimes felt a failure in him.
his only possible regret in his entire life was this.
whether this decision was right or not.
but only time will tell.
there will be no right or wrong decision.
and he will still care for her as special friend.
he will always be there for her he swore.
he swore with his life.
that when she needs her, he will be there.
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she.
she told him via text.
she thanked him for everything he has done for her.
its seems alot to her but little to him.
nonetheless, she knew what he felt.
she told him he wasn't a failure.
and that assurance made him felt so much better.
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for once.
this guy who often complained and argued about his life decided not to.
because for once.
he didnt felt that his old friend upstairs was playing him again.
no.
he just want to thank that guy.
because he enjoyed his time with her.
and for how short of long it doesn't matter to him.
because he knows.
he know he has had SUCH A WONDERFUL GIRL as his first love.
and he was happy.
and he was satisfied.
and he was lucky to have her for however the short time.
he was this lucky guy to had love her.
and for that.he didnt want to be greedy anymore.
though he wanted to keep her by his side.
he is now.
very thankful for what he had.
and he thanks his old friend up there.
thankyou pal.
you have really brighten my life.
and YOU. the girl.
you really make my life.
you rock my world.
make me a man there didn't exist before you came in.
thankyou.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. not matter how i see it.
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he still and very much believe in fate.
if they're meant to be together they will be.
like what he told her.
10, 20 years, maybe they will be together again.
and at that time.
it would be so much better, when both of them are independent.
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now.
staring at his monitor.
he wonders to himself.
how things would turn out differently if he had realised his love for her sooner.
and that this relationship would have started way early when they were still schooling.
maybe. just maybe.
he thinks. he wonders.
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he now smiles again.
he had cried too much the previous night.
till his eyes were swollen.
exactly the state of him when he cried when his grandfather died.
time will heals.
thats what she told him.
and that both of them will be fine.
he knows that too.
and with this end.
comes a new beginning which he hopes both him and her shall embrace.
to live their lives out to the maximum.
thats what he is trying to do now.
and thats what he want her to do.
=)
all good things come to an end, by death or by decision.
or so he believes.
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